What Dreams May Come, Both Dark and Deep

The act of sleeping did not go well last night.

I woke up three hours after going to bed and just...laid there for an hour. When I finally did get back to sleep I had nightmares. Not gruesome, scary ones, but the ones that seem so real that they would tear out the heart of any mother. Or father. Or sister or brother.

Pretty much anyone with a soul...

Now I won't go into detail, because I don't want to be emotionally attached to that again. Just know that having to save your kids from physical harm is scary...even if it is only in a dream. Why are social norms non-existent in the world of dreams? At least they would be less scary. Geesh.

At least at the end of my dream my son turned into a burrito and brought the fear and dread coursing through my sleeping body to a sudden halt. After all...people don't just turn into burritos.

Even in my sleep I know that....

It took another hour or two to fall back asleep from that one, but when I did I slept deliciously sound and woke up refreshed around 4:30 am. When I did, I had the lyrics of an Eric Whitacre song coursing through my head..."What dreams may come both dark and deep, Of flying wings and soaring leap..." 

Appropriate I suppose.

Now I know I don't tend to be very serious in my blog, but today I feel the need to be. I woke up to the realization that even though things get rough that there is always a place of perfection. I found it this morning in the peaceful face of my sleeping little boy; that just hours before had been the subject of one of the worst dreams I can remember. I found it reveling in the crisp, cool air outside as I took the garbage to the curb. I found as I washed the counter top when I finished the dishes. I found it in the book of Romans as I read my morning devotion. I found it in the hugs and kisses my daughter gave me as she went off to day camp. It is everywhere.

It isn't always easy to see. In fact, more often than not, you have to look hard for it and even then you may not realize it. I remember reading an article or blog or something about a man who lost his job and was in financial ruin not knowing where to go next. When he got home that night he was greeted by his enthusiastic, drooling dog, and for just one moment, the stress was gone because all that existed was a man and his faithful dog. The dog didn't know the stress the man was under, all he knew was that the master he loved had returned home.

It may not seem like much, but those moments are everywhere. 

Look for them. 

Find your perfect moment, find your joy.


It really is everywhere.

One Sugar Lemon Facial Away from the Loony Bin

They were there when I woke up. I don't know how they got into my house....again. They were taunting me. All of them jeered at me from their metal holding space. And if they weren't jeering, it was only because they were behind another and I just couldn't see it. I ignored it for as long as I could, but I knew I would have to address them sooner or later. I ran into the bathroom to get away, but there was certainly no denying they were out there. There were fourteen of them; five spoons, three cups, three bowls, two water bottles and a measuring cup.

That's right. They are dishes.

 My morning routine is always the same. I get up at five, do the dishes, throw laundry into the washing machine while *sometimes* folding yesterdays laundry, then I shower and get the kids up and ready to go. Well this morning when I got up I didn't want to do the dishes. After all there was only a small sink-full. So I made my weekly sugar lemon facial scrub and tried to drown out the noise in my brain that was yelling at me to go wash dishes. Then I hopped in the shower and when I was done I felt like I could take on the world. (Funny how a little pampering can make you feel so good.) So, really I could just leave those fourteen dishes until tomorrow, no harm done...right?

WRONG!!!

 There was just something so mind-numbingly wrong with trying to change my routine this morning that I just.....couldn't....take....it....anymore. So it was either off myself because I couldn't live with my routine being messed up for the rest of the day...or do those taunting dishes. I guess you know how that turned out, since I am still here.

There. I am done. And just to get even I made three of them suffer by using them for my breakfast.

Now if only my laundry would scream at me the same way, but it's lazy and just prefers to lay around in the bedroom. 

I know you are probably saying, "Really? All of this for five minutes worth of dishes?" It isn't just about the dishes, because I let them know who was boss. It was the whole of my routine being off, thrown into utter disrepair all because I didn't want to do something. It takes something like thirty days to create a routine and all of four to break it. How unfair is that.

Okay, okay. I am done now. I will be back with a very special Ted for you later today.


Happy Thursday morning readers!

Sense, It Does Not Make

When one logs onto my blog and reads the heading, they may find they are confused. After Monday's brilliant heading, "Tormatoes a la Ted", brought about a few questioning readers I figured I had better clarify.  No, I didn't mean tomatoes. Yes, I do know how to spell tornadoes...most days.

My headings usually have absolutely nothing to do with the post. Usually. However, yesterdays did have something to do with it, but you, my wonderful readers, would not know this unless you really  knew me. Which some of you do. You know that I can be utterly crazy and make no sense at all, so really it should be no surprise when my writing can be utterly crazy as well. 


I have included a few translations for those of you who don't speak toddlerese, just to further complicate clarify the matter

Tormatoes: A Daniel (my 3 year old) way of saying tornadoes. Why he says tormatoes is beyond me, but it is epically (epicly...ecpicaly? is it even a word?) cute.
Why...why is my computer trying to change the word 'cute' into 'cut'???

Glamma: I know this might seem like a particularly glamorous mother, but in fact it is a spin off Grandma and is the preferred pronunciation of my precocious child.

Hideous: Barney the dinosaur. 
Don't ask...just nod your head and move along. There is nothing to see here.

Regardless, if it sounds like something a three year old boy or a (now) nine year old girl would say...chances are they did.

There are many, many more words I could share, however, like normal, my brain does not want to recall anything else at the moment. Maybe it is because I am too busy researching the questions my 3 year old likes to ask. Seriously. He is asking things that many kids don't even know about until high school. Like brain function. And atmospheric conditions and changes. And I really wish I were totally joking here, but I'm not. 

Oh well, the biography of me trying to raise a gifted child will be left for another day. 

I know I run the risk of sounding like Yoda, but believe me, it is how I feel many days...Sense, it does not make. 

So for no apparent reason, here ya go. A weird attempt at a chameleon.

 Happy Friday!

Tormatoes a la Ted

I don't typically mind Monday mornings, they are often a welcome respite from the weekend. 

I know, right now you are probably thinking that I am insane and you will find you are probably right.

But this morning was different. I woke to a deliciously rainy morning. Clouds, rain, miniature tornadoes, the works. Well, there has been some heated debate about the tornadoes. First they are tornadoes then they aren't, at least according to the NWS. Let's clear up the matter and just call them swirling funnels of cold air and rain coming down from the sky. 

Sounds like tornadoes to me....but at least it isn't 105º anymore, right?

 Anyway, I really didn't come here to talk about the weather. After all, any local news station probably does that better than I. So what did I come here for? Well, that is a good question. I wanted to wait until closer to football season for this, but I also want to stay in chronological order with my drawings. As usual, with my excitement for bringing you all things well with my soul, I just couldn't wait. So, without any further ado, I introduce you to a new Ted! If you have followed my meager half a dozen or so blogs Ted is nothing new, but if you haven't, this is Ted. Ted, this is...well, everyone else. 

New introductions out of the way...whew.

Ted the Quarterback

 No, he is not quarterback for the Chargers, although I can see the resemblance. Tall, dark and handsome... Oh, you mean the helmet...not their looks.

Just kidding, Philip Rivers, you know you are awesome. But then...I don't know how that was anything but a compliment.

The lightening bolt was for simplicity, because Ted is all about simplicity. 

Also because my drawing skills are on par with, oh, a 3rd grader.

Just for kicks, and because this rainy, cool weather makes me long for Autumn I will also include a Halloween themed Ted. I don't remember why I even drew a Halloween themed Ted, as we don't do much in the way of Halloween, but oh well, here he is in his awesome....ness. Or something like that.

Ghostly Ted

 I added color to him with yet another iPhone app that I love called Color Effects. It isn't photo editing software, but it is better than nothing!

This is why I love you, my faithful blog reader, even when I have few cohesive thoughts in my brain you still manage to make it to the end. 

Happy Monday! 

Happy...Monday?

Well, it's Monday morning. I am at my desk staring at a computer screen wondering if my boss (well, ex-boss)  will be in this morning. He said he would be here. He retired last month and is kind of in and out, but my new boss is on vacation, so here I sit doing nothing.

But then, he knows I do nothing because since he has been on the way out he has given me nothing to do...I beg and plead for projects. Ok, I don't plead, but I do beg. And I do randomly try to come up with unhelpful things to do and pretend they are awesome.

So I had a few revelations this morning, and in typical me fashion I am going to share them. Learn from them. Let me mess up for you...

Ok, so maybe all you will learn from them is that I a) get up way too early and b) drink too much coffee, because my mind is alll over the place. Yes, alll with three Ls. If you actually make it through this, I just might be tempted to send you a prize.

1.) I haven't updated my blog in over a month. Poor Ted is going to feel abandoned.

Yeah, and today isn't about Ted either, I can't upload him at work since he is saved on my home computer.

2.) I really need to feed my kids something healthier than Froot Loops in the morning.

3.) It might be physically possible to melt in the heat that is Colorado these days. 102º?? Urghh.

4.) It is NOT a good idea to put a temporary tattoo on the inside of your wrist with the kids on Sunday afternoon when you work on Monday morning....even if it is a cute butterfly. My fellow librarians have noticed, believe me.

5.) My cat has too many names, currently he is Rhett the Ninja Minion. He lives up to Rhett and Minion, but not Ninja. In fact he is as un-ninja as a cat can be. See Exhibit A. I use this box as a temporary folder for papers that need to be filed; so I suppose he feels the need to be filed. He loved it for about two minutes, then the box fell over.

Exhibit A....Boxed Rhett.

6.) I am totally obsessed with an iPhone app called Dragonvale. Yeah...

If you look it up and become addicted like I am...tell me. I'll umm...add you and send you gems.

7.) High school kids have no idea how to act in a library. Do I need to post Quiet Zone signs? Hmmm...maybe this is another, um, helpful task I can waste spend time on.

8.) I would have made an excellent gypsy.

I rearranged my house this weekend and now all I want to do is move. But then, I want to move like every 3 months or so and talk myself out of it because I don't want to spend the money. 

9.)  I am out of coffee creamer. I should go to the store. But knowing me, I will go in and get everything BUT coffee creamer. Milk just doesn't cut it.

10.) 5 am is an excellent time to drain and clean a swimming pool.

See #3... this is why 5 am is so amazing. 6 am...not so much.


11.) I know the proper use of ellipsis marks but can't help but use them wrong all. the. time. So just....roll with it.


12.) I need more coffee...




Happy...Monday?

*Insert Clever Heading Here*

To read: transitive and intransitive verb-interpret written material: to identify and understand the meaning of the characters and words in written or printed material.

Yes, that is what you are doing, that is what I am doing frequently, that is what the patrons of this lovely library that I call my workplace think they should do in a library, it is an essential part of life. Well, should be anyhow. I don't always have the time to indulge in a printed book, but I do enjoy a daily selection of blogs by people who are absolutely amazing!

Amazing at everything.

Now, I know I am not the most creative person out there, my arts and crafts skills set has, well, very clear limitations.

Just ask those who play that silly smartphone drawing game with me...I think my three year old does just as well.

However it was today when I was reading these amazing blogs by these amazingly talented people and feeling jealous that I don't think in these artistic ways, when it hit me: I DON'T HAVE TO. They do it all for me. Take this awesome idea for example... Awesome Drip Dip Dye . Or these DIY Ballet Slippers with Straps that are almost as cute as Maegan herself. There is so much out there that makes my life simpler, more colorful, more yummy, just...more!

And we all know, more is often better, especially if it is more no bake chocolate oatmeal cookies or  more Saturday mornings spent in our pajamas.

Best of all, whatever I feel the need to do is there, with instructions that are usually simple to understand. Not saying I will do them all (or any of them), but sometimes (I) we just have to stop and realize it is ok that (I) we aren't the best artists, musicians, bloggers, cooks, mommies and daddies, workers, athletes, people, and be happy with what we are. I just have to remember that they are....................................... Out there.....In a world outside of Yonkers, Way out there beyond this hickown Barnaby... oh, sorry.

Man, I could reference that song over and over in this blog

For those who recognize those song lyrics  (probably all under age 10)  it was originally from Hello, Dolly!..... Not Wall-E.

So what does reading have to do with being happy? Lose yourself in the book of your choice and find out. And for those of you who don't like to read, or don't want to read....

Enter nerdy librarian here....who doesn't like to read????

Here's a frog that has nothing to do with it...except the fact that I drew him and he makes me happy.

Ode to the Summer Sun

So here I am, at work. Well, in my place of employment. I really don't mind getting paid to sit here and blog. Or Facebook. Or shop. But hey, am I not supposed to be working? I just might die of boredom if they don't give me something, anything,  to do.

And you may recall, I want to die of guacamole, NOT boredom.

But my boss is retiring the last day of this month so things are kind of out of order and I just have to be patient. Hopefully soon, projects will start flowing once again.

So anyways....I took the time this morning to clean out my network files of things that I have accumulated in the past two years and ran across an old file labeled E-portfolio. I recognized it immediately of course, it was the electronic portfolio I was required to put together for my Composition 102 class my sophomore year of college. I opened it to reminisce, you know, for old time's sake.

Since last summer was old times, ya know.

I don't mean to toot my own horn, but some of the things in this portfolio were good. Well, at least going back through and reading them I thought they were good. Seriously, all I remember was turning things in thinking, "Oh well, I finished it. It's good enough.".

Good enough works....right?

Well, good enough that I have decided to share a poem I wrote about a year ago that I just found in that E-portfolio folder.

I included the date I wrote it, just for fun. 

Enjoy :)

June 14, 2011

An Ode to the Summer Sun

The sun rises, breaking through the night

Feeling her way through the bleak

Shines down merrily upon the slumbering towns

And cities, already bustling with activity.

Bright and hot she begins her merciless demands

On those out daring to enjoy the cool crispness of the morning.

Some draw curtains to avoid her painful glares

Yet yellow, bright, hot still she creeps into holes

And cracks and illuminates the earth

Creating shadows

Where once were none.

She shouts pain on those who uncover in her presence

Leaving red behind in her wake

As she passes over becoming hotter

And more demanding

Giving relief to none

Until at last she sighs and heaves her heavy rays

Into a tired horizon

Lingering oh so briefly as if to say

You may have made it through

But tomorrow I will return

Unforgiving and harsh

Then fades away letting the night breathe

Cool, calm, quiet.